Thursday, December 22, 2005

You Bitch...

You may not be with me,
Yet I'm happy for you coz I know u wud be in safe hands,
for u told me he loves you..
You may not love him enough today, but some day when u share your life with him.
You will have learnt to love him dearly..to accept him as a part of u..
You'll love him more when he does things for u..
Each time you look into his child's eyes, innocent and very much like yours
U will love him more then and will realise, u can never part with him
And while all this comes to pass
I sincerely hope , what we had does'nt stop u in anyway from playing ur part perfectly well..
as a loving spouse and a caring mother.

But, I wud be still in my own dream world..
Leading a perect life with u like I always did...
Nurturing the unborn kid that I'll never have thru you
A kid in whom I'll see you,
A kid who will remind me of you and what I had for you..

And some day when I count all my blessings
I still will start with you
Coz I realise this happened with a purpose
My life wud have otherwise been meaningless without u..
I cant imagine how empty and hollow my life wud have been had I not met u.

You taught me to love,
But u taught me to love only u..
I can never love anyone that much again in my life,
I can never share myself with anyone the way I did with you.
I can never miss anyone like I miss you.
I can never want anyone like I want you.
Nobody can ever love you or miss you the way I do.
I feel no language is adequate to express what I have for you or the emptiness i feel without you..
U wont understand what I feel for u..
coz it transcends all words and human expressions..

It doesnt hurt me so much even when I think I can't live with you,
But it hurts to think I have to live with someone else..
It doesnt hurt me so much even when I think we can't be together,
But its killing me to think that u wud be sharing ur life with someone else...
It would'nt have been so painful to live without you,
than to know that u belong to someone else.

Some day..
Your smiles will no longer belong to me..
Your tears will no longer belong to me..
Your touch will no longer belong to me..
The only thing I will own..
Is my memories of you..
And Your memories Will walk me home...

5 Comments:

Blogger Arundhati said...

To me, she..doesn't matter, what matters is the fact that you can love..and how!

11:19 PM  
Blogger Bishwanath Ghosh said...

You managed to keep the anger raw even in the writing: that's amazing. I put it up in my post called Modern-Day Sahir: hope you don't mind. Great suff, keep it up.

6:41 AM  
Blogger vee said...

its like urdu poetry buddy!!!!..

I feel the pain in your writings...

1:15 PM  
Blogger Kalaaban said...

arundhati: Thats wat keeps us going sometimes. Isn't it.

bish: Thanks. But no comparison to Sahir, the great.

vee: Wish I knew urdu. Pain is good in someways.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Thulasi Kakkat said...

man..

4:09 AM  

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